| |
| |
|
Coaching Information |
|
|
|
The Fastest Way to Ruin Yourself
I don't know many people who would admit to wanting to ruin themselves, but there are a lot of people who are doing everything they can to accomplish that very goal. They certainly don't see it that way, but if you look at the way they live, you can see it happening. I knew a man who was very strict on his daughter. This strictness was more than simple discipline. He felt he had to control every part of her life. And, of course, he never liked any of her boyfriends. While his daughter was young he could get away with being an "all controlling" parent. The sad part of this was that he thought he was being a good parent. It is certainly every parent's responsibility to protect and discipline their children. But it must always be for the purpose of helping them grow up to make good decisions on their own - not simply to dominate. As will happen in every case, there came a time when the girl grew old enough to get out from under the dominance of her dad and make her own way. When she did, she ended up marrying the very kind of guy her dad despised. Not only that, but the resentment that had built up in her life caused her to move away from him and not even speak to him for years at the time. Now, I don't know whether or not she consciously did all of this for spite, but the result was that her dad was devastated. In spite of his wrong actions and attitudes, he still loved his daughter very much, and the years of alienation were a torture that ruined his health and other areas of his life as he let it "get to him." This father did a destructive thing, in his parenting. But parenting is not the only place that this happens. Many people do it in other areas of life and the result is the same - personal ruin. It happens when individuals try to live another person's life for them. Whether it is as a parent, an employer, a spouse, or any other relationship you operate in, you cannot live another person's life for them. This is probably the fastest ways to self-ruin that exists on the planet today. The same problem is all too common in the workplace. When a boss or supervisor tries to micro manage a person to the point of controlling every little action, it creates rebellion. The person will try to sabotage the authority figure, or will quit. This puts the one who is trying to be in control in a position of always struggling to keep the other person in their place. After a point, fatigue sets in and things begin to spiral out of control. Here is the problem. The nature of human beings is such that each person has the ability and the internal drive to exercise their own free will. People will go to almost any extreme to accomplish it. Families have been destroyed, companies have been bankrupted, and wars have been fought, all in the name of achieving freedom. Why not take a different approach. Instead of trying to control people, simply define the parameters that need to exist for the organization to run smoothly, and allow people to make their own way within those limits. Instead of generating rebellion, this will make a person feel appreciated and respected. It will make them appreciate and respect you, in return. If you want things to be different in your life, then don't look to see how you can go about changing others. Look for ways to change yourself. You simply can't go inside of another person's head and change them. Try and you will destroy yourself. But you can do things to change yourself. Then, instead of ruin, you will find the growth and fulfillment you are looking for. About The Author Dr. Freddy Davis is the owner of TSM Enterprises and conducts conferences, seminars and organizational training for executives, managers and sales professionals to help develop greater effectiveness and productivity. He is the author of the book Supercharged! as well as the Nutshell Series of books for strengthening business. You can visit the TSM website at www.tsmenterprises.com, or you can contact Freddy directly at 888-883-0656 or davis@iname.com.
MORE RESOURCES:
Coaching - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Success Secrets - The #1 Money Secret I Learned from Interviewing Over 23 Millionaires All over the Net, people are asking you to pay them for 'get rich' secrets, all the 'systems' have different names. Have you ever asked yourself this question, how many of them are really rich? Maybe a few, right?Wouldn't it be refreshing the learn money making secrets from ones who have documentation to back up there success? Then you know they are legit. The Joy of Learning! "Part of what motivates me to write this book is a concern that we've lost touch in education with the sheer joy of what it means to learn something new." -Thomas Armstrong, Author, Awakening Genius in the ClassroomI think I was around 6 years old, when my mum decided to put me into Piano class. Why a Coach is NOT a Consultant Often while talking to people about my coaching practice I get asked what the difference is between a coach and a consultant. Many people believe they are either the same thing or very similar. Dealing Effectively with Midlife Issues In this article we would like to help you explore the challenges and opportunities that come at midlife. You will have an opportunity to take a look at issues that are specific to the Baby Boomer generation. Finding a Mentor in the 21st Century Traditionally, mentors volunteer the wisdom of their experiences to help others who wanted to follow in their footsteps. These days, many people have learned to appreciate the value of a good mentor. Permission To Have FUN ? Have you been working long hours? ? Have you been managing 10 (or more) tasks at once? ? Are you combining several different personal and professional roles?99% of my clients are experts at managing lifestyles similar to those above and this issue is dedicated to all of you.Your reward for managing your lives so well is permission to have some FUN. Getting Unstuck: Moving Forward To Success Ever find yourself stuck in that awful loop of inactivity? You circle around and around between wanting to move forward and then apathy? Covering the same ground and never moving forward? It could be that you are stuck in the web of your own comfort zone. It's a place we hang out at that's routine, predicable and safe. Executive Coaching -The Business Benefits Executive coaching is an investment for you and your business and you need to understand what returns you will get. How exactly will you benefit from it?On a practical level, much executive coaching nowadays is carried out by phone, so there is no time wasted in travelling to meetings. How to Choose the Right Coach for You So you want to hire a coach but with so many choices it's easy to feel overwhelmed. How do you find the coach that is right for you? It can seem like a daunting task so here are some guidelines to help you make the right decision for you. Trust In The Moment, and Trust In Yourself Do you often get yourself upset and feeling less than fully confident, as part of your preparation for facing a daunting challenge? You can improve your performance if you let your somatic intelligence lead the way."You move too much to be effective. Why a Self Help Book May Not Help You For a self help book to work, we have to read right it through to the end. While this may seem like a no-brainer, many people never finish reading books that they buy. What Does It Take To Have It All In Life? Many people have asked me why I wrote my book, 'The Street Kid's Guide to Having it All', and I realized that some people simply do not believe that it is possible to 'have it all'. Well, I am here as an ambassador to dispel that rumor once and for all. Whats Next Syndrome Terms like Postpartum, Post Traumatic and Post Gulf War are all well-known Syndromes - mysteries no longer to the medical community or even those of us who count ourselves among the great unwashed. We hear and read everyday about the negative outcomes from life-threatening trauma. Let Go of Your Past People have a difficult time letting go of the past because they are held back by unfinished business. They may regret choices they have made or feel guilty about past actions. Budda In Your Back Pocket The other day I was late for something. Not very late. Creating Supportive Environments I'm writing this on my laptop in a Cosi caf in Dupont Circle in Washington, D.C. Discover The Coach Within You One of the three basic roles of leadership is the coach or mentor. The best boss is often the best coach. Business Career, Executive Coaching Article - Leadership: Understanding the Human Condition "Nothing is more practical than for people to deepen themselves. The more you understand the human condition the more effective you are as a businessperson. Have a World-Changing Conversation I know what you're thinking? "Here I am, completely stressed out and overworked, and here's Barbara telling me that I can change the world by having a conversation! Really?the heat must have fried her brain?"You're absolutely right. (About the world-changing conversations, not about the fried brain. Keeping Your Anger Under Control In my work with individuals and couples, I see many people who have a difficult time expressing and managing angry feelings. Let's take a look at what causes people to become angry and how they can respond to stressful situations more productively.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
