| |
| |
|
Happiness Information |
|
|
|
Happiness and the Single Person; Changing Myth Into Reality
Does the expression "single and happy" sound like an oxymoron to you? Are you weary of others (especially other singles) reinforcing the belief that singles cannot be happy? Do you find yourself always planning for the future or putting things off until you "are married and settled? Do you often have a sense that the intense feelings of happiness and joy cannot really be experienced unless you "have someone to share it with?" Do you just feel there is not enough time and other necessary resources available to the single person to pursue experiences that can bring true happiness? If the above resonates in your gut, do not despair. The following tips will offer ways to help you experience your present reality differently through changing behavior that is based on those negative (false) beliefs. Essentially, these tips will offer advice on how to live a joyful, fulfilling and balanced single life, which will also assist you in achieving a healthy, long- term, intimate relationship. · Seek self-fulfillment as an individual. Place emphasis on being truly alive and experiencing the things that bring you true pleasure. Do not let the feelings of peace and wonder slip from your life as you wait to share (beautiful sunsets) and other gifts of life with a future partner. Do not place your focus on "getting there." Instead, learn to experience the journey of life. If you can only see the goal of a relationship - marriage, home, children, etc., you will not enjoy the experiences along life's way. A good analogy for this is that of a person who bikes and sets (ie), a 40-mile goal for the day. They plan and prepare and off they go. The trip consists of thoughts about getting there, watching for problems in the road ahead, measuring the distance and looking forward to the sense of relief and accomplishment when the goal is met. What about the sensory experiences missed along the way? This biker will not see the way the sun is reflecting on the river. They will not hear the sounds of the birds and other wildlife in the parallel world around them. The smells of fresh vegetation, moist soil and spring-drenched air will not reach their awareness. It is doubtful their mind will trip and play with thoughts of other (perhaps childhood) days like this. In other words, they will not be IN the experience, just racing through it, and missing the magic available all around them. · Do not put off important life decisions while waiting for that special someone. If your desire is to own your own home, work towards achieving this now. Yes, it may be smaller than if you had a partner to share it with. Your list of must-haves with this first home may be different (as yours alone) than they would be if you were looking for a family. When that time comes, you can make the decision to remain there for a time, or sell/rent out your first place. In the meantime, you will have an investment that you can make into something that meets your needs now for comfortable and secure living. It will add stability and be a wonderful help at tax time. If you are thinking about making a career change or going back to school for a degree, there is no better time than now. Yes, this may involve re-working priorities, moving, giving up some income, etc. If this is something you have decided you want for your life, delaying it until you are settled in a relationship may make it impossible to achieve. Make that move now. Do not let this time in your life be placed on hold as you wait for things to happen in your life, instead of working to make them become reality. · Pamper yourself Do nice things for yourself now that you have been putting off until? Go ahead and take that trip to the exotic place you have always wanted to visit. You can return there someday with your special someone. Make it a habit to set the table for your dinner (for one). Use nice china and candles. Treat yourself as deserving of the things couples routinely provide to themselves as a unit. Ask yourself, am I less deserving because I am single? Put care and love into how you decorate your home. It does not have to cost a lot of money or become another chore to accomplish this. Make it a comfortable nest and retreat from the world. You and your future mate can decide together what to keep, change or add to. * Make a plan, not excuses Make time for the things that matter. Do not let your job or other responsibilities take over your life. Set those priorities. Set limits on work and other functional tasks. We often cite work as our best excuse for not attending to our other needs and wants. This may mean making less money or not moving up as fast in the organization. Without balance, there will be deficits in the emotional, spiritual, and social and leisure areas of your life. Write down your must haves. Take time out each day for unwinding and relaxation. Keep a weekly inventory of how you are doing and make adjustments as necessary. Learn how to productively "waste time". Turn off the blackberry and TV. Spend time alone with your thoughts. Reflect on your feelings and your life. This is the season for new beginnings. Let this spring be your time for learning how to be truly happy and at peace within yourself. Immerse your senses in the many joys that the world around you has to offer. Don't shut out the beauty and happiness that is available to everyone, regardless of their relationship status. Toni Coleman is a licensed therapist and relationship coach in private practice in McLean, Virginia. She specializes in working with singles that want to create lasting, intimate relationships. Toni has over 20 years of post-masters experience in relationship counseling and coaching with singles and couples. She is the founder and President of LifeChange Coaching and Consum-mate Relationship Coaching. She developed and teaches the Creating Lasting Relationships Training, a tele-workshop designed to help singles to define, implement and fulfill their life and relationship goals. She has also written numerous email classes for singles on all aspects of meeting, dating and relating. She is the author of the email newsletter, The Art of Intimacy, which goes out to thousands of subscribers monthly. http://www.consum-mate.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Happiness - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Divining Your Life Path Number The Life Path is determined by the sum that is arrived at after reducing your birth date by adding digits together. This number represents the traits and talents that you were born with and the probable journey you will take during your lifetime. You...Your Emotions...Your Relations...Your Happiness and Your Life... We are living in an era, where relations' management is at its low. If the IT or ITES/BPO industry is promoting relations among the employees?the short duration of relations is also a gift of it. Wisdom What is wisdom? But first, what are the conditions that render it desirable, if not necessary, and what is its essential purpose?Life is a desire to live, and better still a desire to live happily. As we strive to satisfy this desire, we encounter obstacles that complicate or frustrate our efforts. Could Your Thoughts Sabotage Your Happiness? Take This Quiz And Find Out Women are conditioned to be people pleasers. Women are taught to be "nice" even if that's means comprising their happiness, and often times that is exactly what happens. How To Achieve Absolute Happiness Everyone wants to be happy. When you decide to be happy you are opening the door to love and inner peace. Get Out Those Legos Many of my clients are working harder than smarter. This is not a put-down of their intelligence. How to Find True Happiness! To maintain an unchangeable sweetness of disposition, to think only thoughts that are pure and gentle, and to be happy under all circumstances, such blessed conditions and such beauty of character and life should be the aim of all, and particularly so of those who wish to lessen the misery of the world. If anyone has failed to lift himself above ungentleness, impurity, and unhappiness, he is greatly deluded if he imagines he can make the world happier by the propagation of any theory or theology. Sweeten Up Your Life Sometimes life experiences can be like a lemon-flavored Tootsie Roll Pop. Hard and sour on the outside. Emotional Baggage We all have them. It has many faces. Find Shortcuts To Happiness If someone said you could feel inner peace and joy by just deciding to do it, would you believe them? Well, we're telling you just that! Anyone can choose inner comfort, ease or a feeling of well-being by learning simple tools that will teach you how to make these decisions. Here's a taste of one of the 6 Shortcuts To Happiness we teach at The Option Institute and how you can begin to use it now:Being GratefulTake a few moments to sit with your eyes closed and find a quiet place inside yourself. What is Happiness and How to Achieve It? True happiness is such a rare commodity that the whole of the world is continuously seeking it and failing to find it. All the people, who we consider to be the best in their fields, are seeking it too and failing to acquire it. The Gift is in the Giving I have to be honest. I made the woman cashier at BIG! LOTS cry. Choose To Be Happy What if I told you that you have the ability to decide if you are happy or not. You would probably say that I'm crazy. The Voiceless WE count the broken lyres that rest Where the sweet wailing singers slumber, But o'er their silent sister's breast The wild-flowers who will stoop to number? A few can touch the magic string, And noisy Fame is proud to win them: Alas for those that never sing, But die with all their music in them!Nay, grieve not for the dead alone Whose song has told their hearts' sad story,-- Weep for the voiceless, who have known The cross without the crown of glory! Not where Leucadian breezes sweep O'er Sappho's memory-haunted billow, But where the glistening night-dews weep On nameless sorrow's churchyard pillow.O hearts that break and give no sign Save whitening lip and fading tresses, Till Death pours out his longed-for wine Slow-dropped from Misery's crushing presses,-- If singing breath or echoing chord To every hidden pang were given, What endless melodies were poured, As sad as earth, as sweet as heaven!Reflections on 'Voice'My wife and I recently attended a showing of "Rwanda" - an unforgettable and harrowing experience. Quick Tips On Staying Positive In A Negative World Looking for a way to stay positive in a negative world?Edward W. Smith, motivational speaker, author and TV show host, who specializes in quick tips on how to move your life ahead even faster, offers the following advice. Being Together When it comes to happiness, togetherness is probably the most common cause of such feelings.Being together means more than just close proximity. Where is Your Happiness? Past, Present, or Future?? Achieving a level of personal happiness previously unknown is closer than you think. Much closer. 14 Habits For A Happier You and I Many people exercise, play sports, or know someone who does. Having done so almost my entire life, I have a few pearls of wisdom. See for Yourself : 12 Step Tools Can Bring Happy, Joyous and Free into Everyones Life We are all familiar with or have heard of the many Twelve Step programs and communities. The reason the 12 Steps are so effective in helping people create happy, joyous and free lives is because it is a program of solution based on principles written so simply that anyone can use them in their daily lives. Most of Your Unhappiness in Life is Due to... I want to share with you today one of those great moments, when you suddenly experience a life changing burst of clarity. When suddenly the answer you're searching for becomes so obvious - it's right there in front of you, and all you can say is "Wow! Why didn't I realise that before?"This was the first of several moments of awakening for me, following my breakdown in early January 2005.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
