 |
Lifes Like that
It is now 5 years since I passed out of college and started working. I
love working. I am not a workaholic but I love working. There is a lot
of pressure in the work we all do. This era is all about speed.
Everything around us moves at the speed of thought. And the wise
guys from the big B-Schools would tell you to be there at the right
time or else you'll loose the next big opportunity. All of us try to
search for the next big opportunity so that we are not left of out in
this race. We travel from place to place in search for that hidden
treasure, success, happiness or whatever one may like to call it.
I have closely interacted with hundreds of people in these years and
one of my favorites activity is studying people and human
behavior. In the beginning I used to get surprised (sometimes even
laugh) when I hear a new kid out of college and starting his life
say that he feels burnt out. But then if you look at it closely, the
kid is right. He is burnt out before he even starts because he is
always expected to perform beyond what his mind and body can take.
There is always this sense of urgency within all of us that usually
keeps us unhappy no matter what we achieve.
I too was in this rat race till my mother taught me the most important
lesson of my life and that is about being in the present and enjoying
every moment of it. Sadly though I had lost my mother by then. I still
remember that day on 18th December 2002 when I was thinking about my
mother in the back of my mind but yet I stayed in the office as
we had this requirement to get the ISDN up in our office. I was scared
that if the leased lines goes down we'll not have an alternative. So I
sat with the providers and did not listen to my heart. As a result by
the time I went to see my mom it was too late. I wish I had followed my
heart instead. That is when I realized that the ISDN
connection had no real significance in my life and yet I gave it an
unwanted priority.
Here are some rules I live by now which I hope would help all of you.
They say that it is best to learn from others mistakes. 6 basic rules
that we must all follow to be happy -
Live in the present -
Most good books on better living talk about being in the present. You cannot
afford to think and live in the past. Neither can you think about the
future all the time. You do not know what would happen in the future.
You do not have control over it. This does not mean that we should not
plan. It just means that we do not need to over stress ourselves
thinking about what would happen in the future.
Let me explain with a simple example. You want to go for a
vacation. You need to plan and buy the tickets in time. But it does not
mean that when you are in the train or aircraft you start running
inside it. You'll not reach any faster than all the other passengers
who are traveling with you.
However, do remember that you must learn from your past and improve
upon
it. The food from Pizza Hut is fattening. This means that it would
remain the same, unless they do some major changes to the way pizzas
are made. So saying that I cannot think about the past and I should
keep going over and over again to Pizza Hut does no make sense.
Also another important point is that you must learn to visualize about
the future. When I was kid our swimming coach used to talk a lot about
the power of visualization. He used to say that if you going for a
competition tomorrow, the previous night one should visualize the
entire event. It goes like this - I
feel light and energetic. The weather is great for swimming. I am going
to get the best place. My start is perfect. I have a perfect dive in
the water. The water is not too hot neither is it too cool. It is just
right for me. My breathing is perfect and my strokes are perfect and
coordinated. I am the winner...
Simulate the same situation when you are facing a client or an ISO
auditor.
Another aspect I'll like to point out here is that some people get into
the urgency because they feel insecure about the future. They think "If
I die my wife or family would face a
lot of problems... " In the process they start taking insurance
policies
left and right, try to buy a house etc.. In many cases they are not
able to keep up with all the liabilities and in that tension many do
really die. One must plan and have a secure future but
never over do anything. Take commitments only when it is possible to
live up to the commitment.
In short it all boils down to one thing. Be happy and live in the
moment. Enjoy every moment of it. Because the present will become the
past tomorrow and you need to cherish it then.
Never have any anger -
There
are times we are unhappy because we have anger against somebody. That
really does not help. All it does is make us sad. In no way does it
effect the person who has angered you. As in my case I was angry with
the providers for having given us a good for nothing ISDN modem. What I
lost in return was a lot more. It is not possible for us to not get
angry because the reason why one gets angry is when things do not work
the way we want it to. When people do not behave the way we want them
to. And this would continue to happen. The best we can do is focus on
something else in such situations. That makes us more relaxed. Also, be
grateful for what you have and do not think about what you do not have.
There are many in this world who are less
fortunate than we are.
Never have an ego -Most of us have a big ego which makes us all worse than what we think we are. We
are nobody to judge another person. We are nobody to justify our
actions on others because of what they did to us. In most cases when we
do something against a person it would due to some false ego we have
inside us. "How could he do this to
me. I'll show him who I am".... Like I said a little while ago.
I am nobody. If somebody treats you bad it is his fault and there no
need for you to teach him a lesson. He needs to have self realization
about it. Most of our epics is about teaching a lesson to the other
person. I remember as a kid watching Mahabharat and Ramayana on TV,
most of times somebody would be testing somebody else's ego.
When I do talk about ego, I feel it is necessary to talk about self esteem
too..
Both these are very different. We all must have a level of self esteem
and dignity. But we must not allow somebody else to treat us as a door
mat. If you do not
like what the other person did to you. Cut off the relation or
remove the expectations.
Take pride in who you are
- There are many who have an inferiority complex about
themselves. They generally think about the family, school, college or
country they are from as being inferior. And hence they prefer to be
bottled up inside themselves and their complexes. This is one prime
reason why people make bad decisions in life.
One must always be happy as who they are. Have pride in what you have.
I was not born to the Tata family. But then Tata was not born to
the British royal family. Everything in this world is relative. You
can either see what you do not have and get complex'd or see what you
have and be happy. Once we start loving our past, our family, our
nation and people around us, we would generally start loving ourselves.
Learn to tolerate
- Many of us
have a hatred because we feel only we are right. We can't tolerate
others. We can't tolerate other's behavior or actions. We generally
fail to respect people for who they are. Rather we would respect them
if they become like what we want them to be. Hitler could not tolerate
the Jews. The Europeans in the US could not tolerate the African
Americans. The upper caste people could not tolerate the lower caste
people in India. We fail to see the person inside.
We must learn to appreciate others and respect the way they are.
Only reality of life is death -
And finally the only reality of life is death. All of us have to die
one
day. Maybe what we can all do is try to visualize what we would like to
achieve by the time we are dead. Let us work backwards. Rather than
setting up a goal for 5 years from now, we must set up a goal for what
we would like to have accomplished by the time we are dead.
I did ask myself these questions about my life sometime back. One of my
targets was to be a good
son. I cannot fully achieve it now as I have lost my mother. For her I
can never be the good son I wanted to be. I can, however, be a good son
for my father. I can be a good brother to my sisters. I can be a good
husband to my wife. I can maybe built a team which can compete with the
best in this world, I can maybe in my own small way make this world a
better place. I do not want to loose these wonderful opportunities. I
do believe that if I live every moment of my
life happily I would be a happy man when I die.
Now we may not be able to achieve all what we desire to achieve. But we
sure can work towards achieving it.
Amarjyoti Krishnan heads bobcares.com, a tech support company for webhosts and ISPs. He is the co-founder of Poornam Info Vision Ltd., a software and IT services company which specializes in Linux based solutions for Webhosts and ISPs. Poornam Info Vision is an ISO 9001:2000 certified company with a team of over 100 engineers. Amarjyoti is a Computer Engineer based in India and has over 7 years of experience in the hosting industry. He has spoken and written extensively on the subject. His articles have been published both online as well as in print in magazines. http://poornam.com
http://bobcares.com
http://amarjyoti.com
MORE RESOURCES:
7 Steps To Happiness For This Holiday SeasonWebWire (press release), GA - 16 hours ago(Old Lyme, CT December 1,2008) Happiness is not as hard to find if one applies effort and acceptance of the joy of the "simple" things in our everyday life. ... |
How to give the gift of happinessabc7news.com, CA - 2 hours agoNew research shows if you give someone a life experience - there will be more happiness for more people and for a longer period of time. ... |
Good grief!Buffalo News, United States - 5 hours agoHe’s the artist who brought happiness to so many as the world’s most popular cartoonist. He’s the creator of Snoopy, the incarnation of joy in beagle form ... |
Happiness - Google News
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Divining Your Life Path Number
The Life Path is determined by the sum that is arrived at after reducing your birth date by adding digits together. This number represents the traits and talents that you were born with and the probable journey you will take during your lifetime.
Does Money Buy Happiness?
According to researchers like Martin Seligman, Daniel Kahneman and Ed Deiner, money may be able to buy happiness, but only to a very limited extent. On the other hand, not having money - that is, a family income of less than 30,000 a year - is related to less happiness.
Are You Doing What You Love Each And Every Day?
It is easy to get caught up in the day-to-day stress of everyday life: deadlines to meet, schedules to keep, unexpected expenses, conflicts to resolve, illness of loved ones, to name a few. Amidst all this, it is easy to for me to lose sight of why I do what I do - my purpose for being.
Happiness And Health Are The Two Most Important Things In Life
The world is becoming obsessed with money and all things material. From the size of your house, the type of car and even where you travel on your holidays, some people are trying to go one better do their friends and family.
Suffering
Since wisdom is the art of coping with suffering, it starts with a willingness to tackle it head-on:a) Such is the harshness of our condition that we suffer, sometimes greatly or worse, insuperably.b) Such is the richness of our nature that we can learn to live happily, or at least serenely, within the limits of this condition.
Personal Alchemy, Turn Your Suffering into Gold
I am sure it is safe to say that each of us has had times in our lives when we had hopes, anticipation, expectations and events where we desired a certain outcome.I am sure it is equally safe to say that when any of them did not turn out the way we had wished, we felt some measure of pain, disappointment, anger, sadness, or turmoil.
Uncover Emotional Secrets and Live a Happier Life
Can you remember a time when you became a little irritated with someone and made a sharp comment that may have hurt, one which you later regretted? Have you ever writhed in the pain of emotional agony over some loss or missed opportunity? Do you recall a time when you felt so overwhelmed by emotion that you withdrew from everything and everyone? In any of these cases to a lesser or greater degree the emotional part of your brain has produced a questionable response or perhaps a response that you may have regretted later.Researchers generally agree that there is an appropriate 'alarm' system in the brain.
Acts of Kindness Benefit Everyone
Do you really want to be happy? Everyone says yes, but the gateway to happiness makes some of us frown. The gateway to happiness, is giving to others.
What NOT To Do To Feel Good About Yourself - 10 Tips
From the moment we wake in the morning our heads start to fill with all sorts of thoughts. What will you give the kids for breakfast? Will you get the time to iron your blouse before you leave for work? What will you do if you miss the bus? And so it goes on.
Happiness - Not Something To Pursue
Perhaps the most sought after thing in the world is happiness. Our constitution even provides freedom for the pursuit of happiness.
Discover the 10 Golden Rules on How To Conquer Your Fear
We all want happiness and peace of mind. In the
search for these blessings, millions of people
take "happy pills" which they hope will relieve
their tensions and make them feel more cheerful.
Happiness Is Truly M.A.G.I.C.A.L. (TM)
The year is almost half over. Many of us are taking the time to reflect, to imagine new dreams and to revise our goals.
7 Surprising Keys to Happiness
Have you ever had one of those days where you just wish you
were in a better mood? Perhaps you tried to shift your state
of mind to something better but struggled to achieve it.Sometimes we get stuck in our own 'stinking thinking' and
forget how easy it is to feel happier, so here are seven
simple ways to lift your mood that many people have found
useful and some of them may surprise you!1.
Dont Let Life Happen to You
Don't Let Life Happen To You
It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live. - Marcus Aurelius (121-80 AD, Roman Emperor, Philosopher) It's hard to believe that we are nearing the end of another year.
Happiness - Cause and Effect
Your reaction to the events around you determines how you feel and how you affect those you come into contact with. Consider the following example:Jane, a bank executive, got caught in traffic on her way to an important presentation at a board of directors meeting.
The Science of Laughter
The title I chose for this article makes me smile. The science of laughter? Laughter, one of the things we used to take for granted, is now the subject of scientific study.
It's Good to be Goofy
To paraphrase a saying my mother liked to use occasionally, "The whole world is goofy - except you and me. And sometimes I'm not too sure about you!"Rest assured that no matter who we are or what we do, there is at least a handful of people somewhere in this world who are convinced that we're not rowing with both oars in the water.
Reframing with NLP For Enhanced Happiness
I used to work for the Independent National Newspaper in Canary Wharf, London. I can remember in the build up to Christmas, my department was having a large & expensive new computer system installed because the newspaper was being relaunched, it was when Andrew Marr and Rosie Boycott were becoming joint editors, I digress?.
Happiness Is A State Of Mind, Im Happy... I Think!
You have the power to attract and repel anything in life you want! It's all in your hands. Contentment, happiness, and joy are right around the corner.
Choose To Be Happy
What if I told you that you have the ability to decide if you are happy or not. You would probably say that I'm crazy.
|
